The Players

The Players

Amelia the Do-Gooder

Amelia is a professional do-gooder in her late 20s. She is originally from Kansas, but fancies herself a "world citizen" due to her travels. She comes from a Mennonite background and has studied non-violence and conflict resolution, among other things.

Special skills: baking, cleaning frenzies

Liabilities: leaving hair in the shower, snarky comments

Dave the Army Guy:

Dave is a Boston native who went into the army after high school. He was the first resident in the new house and has made his presence known through impressive feats such as setting up the internet and helping other roommates move heavy objects. He is currently dating a librarian. Yes, this profession does still exist (or so he says).

Special skills: putting together Ikea furniture, rescuing cats from roofs

Liabilities: psychotic dog, lactose intolerant

Brenda the Cat Lover:

Brenda is also a Boston native, although her story is still somewhat a mystery to this author. She works at Home Depot and has an almost live-in boyfriend named Joey. As I found out last weekend when he arrived at our house, she also has a teenage son. However, the real light of Brenda's life seems to be her cat, Tawny. Tawny enjoys activities such as hissing at roommates and climbing all over the counter and kitchen sink.

Special skills: coupon clipping, noticing small details

Liabilities: psychotic obsession with her cat, difficulty recognizing social boundaries

Caitlin the Fourth Roommate:

Caitlin hasn't moved in yet so we don't know much about her yet. She has told us that she will be going to school to be a sonogram technician. Upon finding out that Amelia had recently moved to Boston she replied with this: "Welcome to Boston. The people are assholes and they can't drive." This statement is notable both for its accuracy and its blunt nature. We look forward to learning more about Caitlin as time goes on.

Strengths: telling it like it is, sonograms

Liabilities: to be determined

Jimmy the Downstairs Neighbor:

We don't know much about Jimmy as yet, but he is a promising character. He claims to be in college, but seems to spend much of his time dealing drugs from his apartment. It's unclear how long he has lived here, but he seems unaware of when trash day is or that it is illegal to sell drugs.

Special skills: making dealz

Liabilities: innumerable

Coffee and Cheez-its

Coffee and donuts. Wine and cheese. Pizza and beer. In life, there are things that go well together. And then there are things that don't. Since I have recently moved, my house isn't very well stocked with food yet. As a result, I ended up having a lovely breakfast of coffee and cheez-its this weekend. These are two things that don't go very well together. After thinking about it, I realized that my living situation is very much like coffee and cheez-its. But I guess I should start from the beginning.

Like many recent graduates, I went though period of un/under-employment for a few months after grad school. So, I widened my net.... to the entire US. Last month, I went from lack of direction to a very specific direction, Boston. I had two weeks to try to find an apartment so I could start my new job. Given my time frame, I was not in a position to be choosy. By some miracle (and about 3499834 emails to craigslist postings), I found a place in time. It's a beautiful house, reasonable rent, and 15 minutes from work. The catch, I have to share it with 3 people that I've never met before.

Now, don't get me wrong. I've lived with people before. Lots of people. My best roommate count puts me at about 35 people... so I've got some experience. But what I never realized is that in all of my previous living situations, there was always something that linked us together. Some common thread. In this situation, that is absolutely not the case. We are coffee and cheez-its. No one would think to invite us to the same party, let alone have us live together.

I, a lifetime pacifist, am living with a semi-retired U.S. Army Staff Sergeant and a 30 year old Boston native whose greatest passion in life seems to be her cat. We are, in fact, coffee and cheez-its. And the last roommate hasn't even moved in yet...

I've realized that this situation is exactly the kind that could be premise for a mediocre sitcom or terrible reality show... and for the reason I've decided to start a blog so that this experience can entertain others, even if it may cause me to lose my sanity. Stay tuned.